The short answer is yes: children can have a say in family mediation. However, as with many things in life, there are a few caveats.
The part of the mediation process that gives children a voice is called Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM). Introduced in January 2019, CIM is based on the child’s right to participate in discussions and decisions that directly affect them. This is particularly relevant during the separation or divorce of parents, when a child’s time is often split between two homes. Senior Associate Solicitor and Family Mediator, Alice Brett, explains the meaning of Child Inclusive Mediation, how it works, and why it matters.
How Child Inclusive Mediation Works
CIM gives a child the opportunity to meet with a specially trained mediator and share their thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Crucially, the child is reassured that:
• Their views matter greatly.
• They will not be responsible for making decisions.
• Decision-making always remains with the parents.
For parents, hearing their child’s perspective, delivered through a trained mediator, can be invaluable in making arrangements that truly reflect the child’s needs.
Privacy, Consent, and Safeguarding
The meeting between the mediator and the child is completely private. Only the information the child specifically consents to share will be passed on to the parents. This feedback is given in a separate meeting with the parents. From a safeguarding perspective, your child-inclusive mediator should be registered with the Family Mediation Council and hold an enhanced DBS certificate.
Why Child Inclusive Mediation Matters
Research shows that many children feel powerless during family changes. They often have to adapt to a situation without feeling they’ve had any say in it. CIM addresses this gap, giving children a safe and structured way to be heard.
Voluntary for All Parties
As with all aspects of mediation, CIM is voluntary. It can only take place if both parents, the child, and the mediator agree to it. Age is also a factor—there are no strict rules, but suitability is assessed on a case-by-case basis. It’s fair to say that, as delightful as it might be for the mediator, a CIM session with a one-year-old is unlikely to be productive!
Family Mediation
Family Mediation is a voluntary, cost-effective alternative to going through the courts when you are divorcing or separating from your partner. The decision-making sits with you and your ex, allowing for a focused discussion with an agreement that works for you and your family.
Further Reading
Tips on how to help your children when you separate
The benefits of family mediation
